Depression

depression is a soul eating, life corroding, confusing disease for anyone to have to live with.

and unfair when I have the three most amazing people in my life that have to live with the consequences.

the journey continues.....

a month ago this was impossible to write because of the anger I still felt, but now that I am letting myself remember and realize that everything really does happen for a reason, my anger is fading. The job and opportunity of a lifetime we were so sure God planned just for us did not pan out.
We were there at the ranch for less that 2 months when S was let go and we had to vacate the premises within a week. I knew the look on S's face as soon as I drove up to the house...it was over. I could type for hours about what happened, but it is not worth it. All I know now is that is was absolutely the best thing in the world that it happened so early. It was extremely emotional that first night...anger, sadness, downright hatred at the way that man treated my family, at the realization that we had to move, find a new place and job so soon. But the next morning it was like a weight was lifted and we saw that the stress of the job and working for someone that was next to impossible to please was already taking its toll on our marriage and us as a family. Those two things are the most important things in the world and not worth losing for a job and a cute farm house.
Now we are back on our feet, doing way better than we were before the ranch job and things are looking great. We are in town, where I wanted to be in the first place, in a nice(modern)house in a desirable neighborhood with lots of great neighbors and lots of kids for the boys to ride bikes with! S and I have already made friends with a wonderful couple that has a daughter K's age. On nice days we can forget about getting anything done inside because we are outside watching all the kids play.
We are also in the neighborhood that goes to what people say is the best elementary in the district, so that is good with K starting Kindergarten next fall.
I am not sure if this is the path that God had intended, I am not really sure what the point of moving to the ranch was and having to deal with such a treacherous man, but I guess it was what we were suppose to do. I really wish we never would have meet the person that turned our lives upside down, but because of that move we are where we are and the boys are so happy with friends to play with.
We will see what god has in store for us next...I really hope it's not another move for a while!
and since no post is good without a pic...just an old random shot....