couple-o-pictures.....

My little T-man, isn't he the most handsome thing?

this is not the most technically spectacular picture, but when the subject is so cute, how can i not post it?

Yes, S is teaching them to lizard hunt!

Momma, NO pitures........No eyes, please

Been awhile.....

wow, i have really missed blogging! i didn't realize how much i enjoy it, even though i don't get many comments!

Not a lot has been going on really, we had a quiet, healthy memorial weekend. Celebrated my nieces 3rd birthday, just a small gathering with burgers and cake, i am always where there is cake! we also attended a celebration for shelly and her new husband Corey in honor of their recent marriage and to watch the awesome video!

the reason i mention a healthy weekend is because it had actually been a week or two since T has been sick, but he is making up for it now! we are guessing the poor baby has allergy's, he just can't kick his runny nose and cough.

TRAINING UPDATE....
well, unfortunately, there is not much to say. i swam last night, but before that, the last time i trained was a 6 mile bike ride last Saturday morning.

some may say what i am doing is mere exercise, but it makes it feel and sound so much better to say train. i think that is why this is something i am going to stick with because i am training for a goal and not just to lose weight(i know losing weight is a goal, but this is different, i am challenging myself).

i know i have not been doing good and eating worse, but i have NOT given up. i am still training to compete in a triathlon, i just have to start at square one in the morning. I CAN DO THIS!

MY OPPORTUNITY....
the other thing that has happen, that makes me weak in the knees to actually say, is i have been asked to take the photographs at a friends wedding. it is a small event, in October, at sunset.
i feel so flattered and think this will be good experience for me, i can't wait!

Guess that means i need to really start practicing everyday(poor kids!)!!!

annual camping trip.....

every year we go camping for our niece's birthday @ Lake Somerville, per her wishes for her birthday celebration. i can't remember how many years we have done this, but it is quickly becoming a tradition. i have begun to anticipate this trip every may and it is always a blast.

for this trip we could not have asked for better weather, it was almost perfect, not too hot in the day and pretty darn cool at night.

this year we had 8 adults and 9 kiddos sharing the fun! i can't even begin to tell you how much fun K had playing with the big kids and being totally outside for 2 1/2 days(such a boy!). there where only a few meltdowns and no fighting among the big kids. i just wish my nephew wouldn't have been sick the whole time, bummer for him!


we played badminton, had water gun fights, hiked on trails, swam in the lake, made s'mores and ate some great food!

i did not get a chance to work on my training or take many pictures and the pictures i did get are pretty disappointing, but memories none-the-less.


the first picture is S teaching K how to cast his new Cars fishing pole.


this picture is K enjoying(destroying) a very good, hot off the grill burger!

this is T having fun in the tent, he loves not having clothes on!

all the kids and abby on a hike(which was more like a who-can-keep-up-with-k-run). this picture is minus 2 nephews and t(he is on my back!).











and this picture is us in all our white trash, redneck glory..........

pulling a tube behind a john boat! who needs a $25,000 boat? it worked, the kids had fun, it was great.

i did learn a few thing while on this trip.....

1. it hurts when powder antacid comes out your nose, thanks Kim for a good laugh!
2. baby puppies should not eat mushrooms, poor izzy was SO sick, but better now.
3. i am not the only person in the world that likes white trash sandwiches; white bread with mirale whip and potato chips
4. i am also not the only person that likes bread balls(rolled up white bread), it is a wonder i am not 500lbs & suffering from heart failure at 30!
5. you have to pack everything you own, just short of the kitchen sink(which may have been handy) when you have a 2 year old and an infant.
6. red pepper hummus is the most awesome dip.
7. when camping with a two year old, you will sleep with dirt in the bed, so uncomfortable!

to do list before i'm 40.....

a friend and fellow blogger recently blogged her list of things to do before she turns 40. she got the idea from a book she is reading with her book club, The Next Think on My List.
i loved her list(go check it out at http://jcbb.wordpress.com/) and the idea of making my own so here goes.....

• compete in a triathlon
• be a healthier eater
• be more confident
• learn to play the piano
• have a COMPLETELY clean house for more than a week(taken from her list!)
• master photography
• visit a real, beautiful beach(other than Galveston)
• personally see the great wall of China(maybe by the time i'm 50!)
• take a month long road trip along the east coast(dream trip)
• visit New York with my mom

well, i know that sounds just spectacular to some, but i am not one that wants grandiose things. i am pretty simple. maybe more will come to me later.

what do you want to accomplish? for the non-bloggers leave your list in my comments, for the bloggers, post your list and keep this going.

WHOA, hold up....

this blog is getting way to personal.

anyone that knows me well, knows i don't reveal things about myself. EVER.

this whole blog thing and goal setting is really effecting me.

turning a corner.....

my whole life i have had such a negative feeling of self worth and such a negative image of myself that it has effected me in every aspect of my life.

i know i was not taught that my parents per say, but i learned it from people in my life. that it was taboo to hold yourself in high regards, to boast yourself or to in general like yourself. now whether that came from society as a whole and/or things people said in my life growing up, is for a therapist to decide.

i have never been able to take a complement because i generally did not believe it to be true, because i did not like myself or my image. and i certainly NEVER said out load if i was proud of any accomplishment i made or if i thought on a particular day i looked pretty.

so now, today i am changing that because dammit i am PROUD of myself.

I conquered one of my deepest seated fears and i SWAM!

Yes, i swam the freestyle stroke with my face in the water, turned my head to the side, took a breathe and swam to the end of the pool. all with out panicking and i did not die. now granted it was a short pool, but who cares? I.DID.IT!

i cried for about twenty minutes when i got in the pool before Kim showed up, got out of the pool to quit, got back in the pool and tried again, and just did it.

i want this so bad, to be proud of myself so my boys can be proud of their mother, i can't quit.

i have gotten up at 5:00am every morning and walked/ran. i ran a whole, continuous mile this morning.

i feel so much better about myself and energetically. i have been in a better mode and i have had a more positive attitude.

i really think this is it, what i have been needing, the something i am going to stick with and make me a better person.


(and a little something for Kim. thank you so much. i don't think i could have done this without you by my side. i know i actually did it myself yesterday, but it was because of your help. i feel so safe and comfortable with you. i love how soft-spoken, patient and encouraging you are. thank you!)

"pitures" by K......

i think this may be a sign that i take to many pictures of my kids.
k has been carrying this disposable camera around for a few weeks taking pictures of everything. its so cute he looks through the wrong way and no matter how many times i try and teach him to close one eye to look through the hole, he can't figure it out!
every time i get my camera out he has to make sure he has his camera, while he tells me about 45 times; "my pitures, momma's pitures."

this was the first Chance i actually got to get pictures of him getting 'pitures'.

i need to take the camera to get developed, because i have no idea if it was full before he got it or if he actually took some pictures with it. i am curious to see!

"Happy Day, Momma!".....

"Momma's day!"

"Happy day!"

"Momma Happy day!"

and finally after about an hour or so of daddy helping K....

"happy momma's day!"

When K ran from the front of the house this morning, wearing his cute little Thomas the train undies, his legs going as fast as they could, carrying a mothers day card telling me, happy day momma!", i got tears in my eyes.

that right there was all i needed, no gifts, no fancy restaurant, just him so proud of himself, telling me happy day, momma. i could hear that over and over.

I Love my boys!

memories at the water meter.....

Man, i can remember playing for hours in the black water meter box down by the street in front of my old house growing up.

catching frogs, digging, hiding things.

that thing is just so appealing to little kids, i mean something out in the open with a lid on just screams, 'open me, open me!!' !

we found K and K down there the other day playing in the water that had collected from the rain storm, it was so cute. K was looking for frogs in it the other day, thanks to s! it is so wierd to see your own kids doing the same things you remember doing as a kid!

sabotage, self destruction, anxiety.....

all wrapped up in a package called jennifer's mind.

I sabotage myself with such with bad time management, absolutely no organizational traits and procrastination.

but the sabotage i am speaking of now was the weather on Monday. for those of you that live close, you know it has not rained in like 10 years here, not really, but it has been at least 2 months since we had good rain. well, i woke up Monday morning at 5:15 to start off my first day toward my triathlon goal. there was a dad-gum thunderstorm and i am not hard core enough yet to get out in that to walk, run or even pick my nose. so, i roll my happy, round butt back into bed, changed my alarm and went right back to sleep, however disappointed.

the self destruction on the other hand is one of the main reasons i set the goal to get out, train and compete. i have the most horrible internal communication with myself, VERY negative. (it is really amazing how hard one can be on them selves, almost to the point of destruction). it takes its toll and rares its ugly head in the form of depression and anger. i feel that if i can get out, exercise, clear my head and accomplish something that is scary to me, it will help me with that. the time by myself in the morning will be nice too.

And the Anxiety, well that is the swimming.
i know i have to swim in a triathlon.
i know it is not going to kill me to get through this.
i can do it.......right? yeah, just after i catch my breath.
i like the water. (this is not just positive talking, i really do, as long as NO ONE touches me)
i can swim, just not technically.
i can even swim with my head under water, when i'm not thinking about it.
But, when it comes to putting my head under water, exhaling and coming back up to breath to then put my head back under the water.....nope, not gonna happen....panic.....can't breath...get me out of the pool.....
I had my first 'lesson' on tuesday evening, freaking cold water, but i did it anyway because i am determined. all i could do was hold onto the side of the pool for twenty minutes, putting my head under water and blowing out. it was bad, but even in that twenty minutes, i could feel a little more control in myself. this is definitely gonna take awhile..luckily Kim is a very soft spoken, patient person, and i feel so comfortable(and safe) with her. thanks Kim!
So here's to getting over myself and being better.....

My not so little one.....

like i have said 100 times before, T is growing up SO fast! i just can't even stand to think about it, it makes my stomach hurt.

he is crawling all over the place now and gets so frustrated when he can't. oh boy, he has a temper like his momma! right now it is quite funny, not so much in about a year.

he interacts with us and he loves to play with K and K's toys. (and of course i am sure you know how well that goes over.)

he is finally sleeping in his crib in his room as of last week, sometimes ALL night. so awesome for me!

Both top teeth are about to pop though any second now. teething has been easy this time around(so far). i am sure i will get my pay back for all of this soon!

And the best so far........He says MAMA! i earned that, he said MAMA first, so ha!!! :)
I would have been ticked off if he said DaDa first!

i just still can't get over my handsome, squishy little boy getting so big! i just love him so much i want to squeeze him.

The first picture is him devouring a biter biscuit, i had to put this up for Suzette! the Second is C and T, they kept trading and fighting over the
biscuits! eewww, i know but it was cute(again, for

now).

sunset dream......

Oh wow! i have butterflies in my stomach and nothing is even happening to me!
I just dropped of on of my best friends in the world at the airport. the lucky girl is on her way to Hawaii.
You are probably wondering why i would have butterfly because of that? well, not only is she going to probably one of the most beautiful places in the world,
she is getting married there.
tomorrow.
on the beach.
at sunset.
i just couldn't be more happy for her. she has found someone that truly makes her happy in every way, she is headed to Hawaii to marry the man that lets her be happy.
oh -i won't get to sappy, but i have seen a change in her that is so awesome. i don't even need to send her my luck because this is the real thing, but i will send my best wishes and prayers for a great time, safe trip, beautiful weather, and an awesome ceremony.
Love you Shelly!

here's to new goals....

some of you may have gotten the e-mail i sent out to the people that live close to me, asking for a swim coach.

for those of you who didn't, i was asking for a swim coach, because i can barely swim to save my life, but more seriously because i want to train and compete in triathlon. and swimming is the first area ineed help.

because of my wonderful cousin Tanya, who competes, this has been in the back of my mind for several years, but i have ignored it because of my fear of swimming(and failure, and a challenge and failure and well, the effort).

in the last few weeks i have a few signs that have led me to the decision to swallow whatever it is holding me back from trying something new(and scary) and just do it.

i have found a friend who is willing to take this journey with me. we really don't know each other, in fact only having meet for the first time last night, but this will be a great opportunity to get to know each other and build a friendship. hopefully we meet more people along the way!

i think it will be good for me to have a goal to work toward, but more importantly it will be good for me mentally and of course physically, i am not use to taking on a challenge other than motherhood.

so hopefully with the support of family, friends, strangers willing to help out, and with a lot of hard work from me, i can make this happen.